DEDICATED TO BABA...WHO COUDN'T BE HERE TODAY...

All this seems so strange and so new… I mean it’s an experience I have had for the first time.
Someone just evaporates from your life and yet you see them everywhere.
I see him in the garden watering the plants. I sense him during the prayers when he used to sit in front of me. I miss him every time I watch a news channel exposing some political foul play… I observe him going through the daily newspaper. Every time I enter the house I find him with that glad-you-are-back-home looks… I visualize him instructing me on how not to cry too hard or laugh too little... on how I should play fewer games on the computer... on how he craves for cleanliness... And much more...
It’s so hard … so tough to make this fact sink in that the person you had been talking to yesterday… would never come back. You will never see them again.
If u try rewinding your life by a few hours... your hands just stretch out, you want to grasp that moment when that loved one was with you.
You are astonished if you really came this far… or rather if life really brought you this far without that person.
U start with crying. You are ready to give up just about anything and everything if only you could as much as talk to the person or even see him smile. The thought that he was happy as long as he was with you is just so comforting…so alleviating.
May be this doesn’t make sense to you... may be it won’t make sense to me when I read it later. But all this is true... seeing someone die before your eyes is not easy.
I’ve seen life and I know it is a wonderful idea and I admire GOD for the concept.
But I’ve seen death too and I think it’s a dreadful idea. Why did God have to give you someone with whom you live right since the start and then suddenly take him away…
Even before he could see his dreams coming true he’s made to tread an unknown path. They say his purpose is achieved... he has gone on a long journey. But he didn’t take anything with him. He left his walking stick, his spectacles, and his medicines. He didn’t skip any of these when out on a voyage. I wonder if he is missing all of us back home.
His lessons to me were often of few words but each one molded the person I am today. I long to go back to be taught but one last time by the giant of the man with not much to say. All I can do now is feel sad as he is gone, his lessons taught, his time here expired.
But now it’s no more tears. It’s just a little smile as I know he is happier wherever he is. He is free from the pain he had been enduring for long. He is watching me continuously even as I write this for him. But wouldn’t it have been wonderful if he was not gone, been right here with me.
I realize he has given me one last lesson of life and love that had to be learned through the pain of death and crying…that if you hold someone you love tightly in your heart, then they will always be with you and a part of you, even in dying.
My granpa… as I remember him… proud, strong, hardworking, a man of principles… is more than a memory… he is a living presence. Nothing can separate him from us… neither time…nor space… and not even Death...